THINGS LISA BONET SAID



Most people remember Lisa Bonet as the stylish, free spirited Denise Huxtable from The Cosby Show. Others are even aware of her marriage to Lenny Kravitz, nude photo sessions, and celebrity momness. But a very, very select few are aware of her cunning wit, getting to the core of weighty topics at high-society social engagements.

At the most exclusive soirees on the international scene, Lisa Bonet is considered a modern day Alexander Pope. One witness observed, "Her thoughts become words with such fluidity -- streaming like a river in a painting in a Chinese restaurant. And in the painting there's a rainbow overhead and little baby birds singing in the trees -- but when you're around Lisa Bonet the birds chirping are not birds at all. They are the guests! They're chirping excitedly to one another about the harmonious interminglings of Bonet's mind and mouth."

Hubert Mitcher - great grandson of Peter Amtrak and a continent hopping gentleman of distinction - has begun compiling Bonetisms, as he calls them, to be published as a day-by-day desktop calendar for ILOANBooks. Here is a sampling of the things he's overheard her say.



Over Strawberry Daquiris with musician Steve Harwell
"With no responsibility comes great responsibility. Time is a Chinese finger-trap; the more you fight it the tighter its grip on you."



With her arm around a weeping busboy
"Do not over-think beautiful activities until they feel pretentious and you abstain from them. Go ahead and do them, it will keep you from despising eccentrics in the future... and despising eccentrics, I can tell you from experience, is purgatory on Earth."



She was also overheard saying, "You make a good point, spike." to a picket fence in the deserts of Outer Mongolia.



Visiting a friend at the St. Claremount Sanctuary For Ungrounded Adolescents, she alluded to her philosophy on graceful aging
"A jar of salsa and a bag of chips make a temperance snack. If all the big chips are wasted on the full jar, we get towards the bottom and our chips are too small to reach."



In a pool at 4am with Mitch Hedberg in 2002, debating the ethos of lower class Germany under The Third Reich
"By that logic you must think all sanitation workers love garbage?! (she laughs) I will have you know there are many people who SIMPLY ENJOY HANGING OFF OF MOVING VEHICLES!"



On the phone with ConEdison on the veranda of the Tanzania Double Tree Hotel
"Help, as a form of nourishment, will never fit the infrastructure of a proverbial catalogical mess hall. The institution of Customer Service is an out-dated recipe for inaction and a bulwark against communication."




















When asked what she and Angela Lansbury had been discussing privately all evening
"The only things lower than my personal interests are the interests I share with my friends."


"Describing a thin person as skinny doesn't make sense. In terms of skin, a larger person would have more of it, which would make them skinnier."