An elderly couple plodded down the streets of Murray Hill trying to ignore the seven foot monster batting them on their heads with a water bottle. These old folks were New York natives, they didn't scare easy. It was obnoxious, though. It was also incredibly rude. Of course, you have to be careful how you handle lunatics like that.
"Cut if out, willya!" croaked the wife as she turned around and shook her withering arm in the giant's face. Her husband just scowled and silently took his hits. He reached for his wife's hand, her name might have been Edna, and they continued walking. This was no way to spend a Sunday afternoon.
As the unlikely trio passed a Gristedes the giant became distracted. It looked in at the grocery shoppers and the elderly couple drifted, in their glacial way, out of the situation and into something more suitable to people their age. The giant was mesmerized with what it saw through the glass, or maybe it was its reflection that captivated it.
It slammed its water bottle against the windows of Gristedes and sent the glass shattering on the sidewalk and across the edges of the supermarket. The shoppers all stopped and looked at what had happened. The monster stooped silently to its knees and began shoving shards of glass in its mouth, chewing it, swallowing it.
There was an attractive blonde woman at Gristedes wearing a pink tank top and tiny black shorts. She went over to the monster, who now had blood streaking from its mouth. She wrapped it up in blankets like a baby and caressed its face. She then skipped off and returned with two baby strollers. Somehow she managed to lift the giant and place it in one of them, then the other, trying to decide which one it looked better in.
Another woman came over and spat, "You need to leave that monster alone! That thing is crazy and violent! It is not something to be saved!"
The woman in pink put her hand on her hip and replied rhetorically, "and why is that?"
The woman yelled back, "Because it is trying to die!" and as she spoke these words she discovered her mouth was filled with glass.