i was laying in bed and heard a careful footstep slowly pressing down a loose floorboard in the living room. the delicacy of the creaking noise made me suspicious so i carefully turned over and saw the shadow of a person on the outside part of my door from the light bleeding in from the window. i was preparing myself to say in a loud voice, "that you, percy?" (cause that's what your supposed to do when you suspect cat burglars) but the person went away. as the quiet resumed i decided it was probably just a roommate so i went to sleep...

some reputable film maker was releasing his second feature film and i went to see it. everyone was very excited -- it was an exclusive preview showing... i forget the title but it was dark, sort of tim burtonesque but much much scarier -- well, most of it was boring but parts of it were terrifying. i was in the film, which must have been why i was admitted. at one point me and the protagonist -- some frail and pale cartoon girl with black hair and black clothes -- flew, using our arms, to europe in the black of night. the earth was pitch black and silent while we flapped our arms through the nothingness... it was magnificent.

when we got to europe the entire continent was lit up in insane vegas-like lights and sky scrapers and -- this was the scariest part -- two giant dolls that were bigger and brighter than anything else, swaying lifelike in the wind in the manner of those inflatable neon people at used car lots. we came down and landed at the right foot of one of them, on the roof of the belgian museum of freemasonry.

the final scene involved an ancient egyptian artifact with 5 little dashes running across its face. the protagonist, the sickly girl, began swiping her finger across the dashes thereby transforming them into E's. each E was a little different -- some had tildes and macrons, some were lower case, some upper case. the process of revealing these E's was inexplicably horrifying so i begged her to stop. she refused and when the fifth one was scratched off i awoke with a jolt and a sweat.

i went into the living room and said goodmorning to my roommate. i asked him if he'd been walking around near my doorway the previous night. he 'definitely had not.' on the living room table where there were two unopened jugs of pino noir and a DVD copy of the film i'd just watched / been in. my roommate had picked it up from one of the bootleg guys in the subway. i told him how scary it was and we sat down to watch it. suddenly it was night and although it was the same movie it was totally different was now some kind of ice cube hip-hop comedy, complete with midgets and fumbling police officers.