Confessions of a Careless Weight Watcher by Michele Martuscello

Way back in 2005, I decided to try Weight Watchers in an attempt to be skinnier than my bestie, Brittany, before prom. This is how I went about it:

Chelsey and I were working at an after school program at the Elementary School for most of our senior year. One of the more brutish mothers, kept coming in and updating me on her Weight Watchers progress. I don't remember her name, but I do remember she was Albanian and loved me because I am of Albanian descent. Anyway, without knowing I was on the a quest to shed a few, she suggested I try Weight Watchers when she might as well have said "you're fat, do this to lose weight." She lent me her little book of points and spells and I attempted to read some of it.

Okay... knowing me I didn't read any of it and just looked at the page where it said 'start' and 'points per day'. After carefully calculating how many points I could have, I came up with the number 36. After two weeks with NO progress what so ever, I turned to some of my aunts and grandmother at our mandatory Sunday family brunch (pure NY guido-ness), knowing that most middle aged women from Long Island have taken a stab at Weight Watchers at some point in their life. After telling my tale to my Aunt Allison, she asked me how many points I was ingesting per day and to show her the book. Apparently, I should have read the book because I was consuming the point value of a pregnant woman in her third trimester  which was about 10-12 points higher than the average NON pregnant female of my weight/height. Moral of the story: Read everything, always. Weight Watchers isn't for everybody, starving and/or exercise is way easier.

Michele failed at following instructions but now she succeeds in selling sea salt